1) What happens during a Sex Therapy session?

The first 2 sessions will be the initial assessment.  This may continue into session 3 depending on your history. An initial assessment will allow me to find out about your childhood, past relationships, sex education, any past trauma / abuse, patterns of behaviour in relationships / friendships etc. Knowing your history will help me to understand you better.

After the initial assessment we will focus on your goal for therapy. I will often suggest homework tasks, encourage you to explore your true thoughts and feelings and help you to understand the possible root cause of your distress.

2) What kind of homework tasks can I/we expect?

Homework tasks range from writing in your journal to helping you to become more mindful of what you are thinking or feeling about a particular situation. It may also include physical touch exercises that you can do in the privacy of your own home. I may recommend particular Ted Talks, books, intimacy exercises, mindfulness sessions or activities to encourage effective communication.

3) Will we have to share details of our private, intimate sex life?

You share as much or as little as you would like. I have pretty much heard everything in my practice. I understand though that although discussions around sex are very comfortable for me, they can feel quite uncomfortable for others. Any question that you feel uncomfortable answering, please let me know.

4) I'm not sure if a Zoom video call would work for me. I think engagement would be better face-to-face.

Prior to the Covid lockdown running an online Sex Therapy practice seemed to be unheard of. Many of my clients have never met me in person, but have finished working with me, after a number of online therapy sessions-with their problem resolved.

In my experience video call has been just as effective as face-to-face sessions. I would suggest new clients try it for a few sessions to see how they feel.

5) How many sessions of therapy will I /we need on average and how often?

I would usually see couples for 6-12 sessions. On occasions this might be extended or a situation may arise where we agree that I will work solely with one partner to help with a particular ongoing issue/concern.

With individual therapy I would suggest at least 8 -12 sessions. Some clients may need more time to work through their difficulties. The key is to not rush the process and to give yourself time to reflect on what you're really thinking and feeling. Sometimes we have so many defence mechanisms working to 'keep us safe from perceived harm' that we're unable to access our true thoughts and feelings. Therapy provides you a safe place to explore what you need, to create lasting change in your life.

6) Is there any guarantee that sex and relationship therapy will work for me?

There are a range of factors that contribute to the success of therapy. Clients are required to complete suggested homework tasks, be willing to explore different perspectives, be honest about their thoughts and feelings, as well as to make sure they give themselves the space in-between sessions to reflect on the discussions had in sessions, and any feelings that may have consequently arisen. You will get the most out of your sessions, if you can remain open to the process.

7) Does sex therapy involve any physical touching or nudity?

Sex therapy is a 'talking therapy'. All participants will be fully clothed and no intimate physical touch will take place during sessions. Suggestions for (intimate) physical touch exercises may be given by the therapist to clients, to engage in, at home.

8) What should I / shouldn't I expect in my 20min free consultation?

You should expect to be given the opportunity to briefly tell me about your reasons for wanting to access therapy. You may also ask me any questions about the therapy process or any concerns you may have. This is not an opportunity to receive an answer to your issue nor any tips on how to resolve the issue. 20mins will not provide the time needed to fully understand your situation. It is simply a brief introduction.  We can then further explore your issue/s and work towards helping you to see improvements.

9) Can I access your services, whilst still working with my own Counsellor/Psychotherapist?

I wouldn't advise working with two mental health professionals at the same time in this way. There may be an overlap in the work that can create confusion and a sense of overwhelm for clients.

10) Do you help with tantric sex?

I am not a trained Tantra Instructor but can explain the practice and how you might wish to incorporate this into your sex life.